“Bokuchu” Us vs the Police: 700-Day War

Now the police car that we were in went past the people staring and straight towards our non-destination. Chuzai-san must have noticed that people were looking because he drove slower than he had to for us. We were “on display.” In the Edo-era, it would have been called public humiliation through town.

In order to keep people from thinking that we were “being escorted to juvenile hall,” we tried making overly happy faces. But it’s against human nature to laugh when nothing’s funny.

“Where did you guys want to go?”
To Chuzai-san’s question,
“Ahh. Can you please take us to XX City.”
“XX City. I’m going to take a slight detour, you guys don’t mind, do you?”

Chuzai-san continued,
“That bookstore owner is a good guy, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“You guys went after him, didn’t you?”

He got straight to the point.

“Don’t say ‘we went after him’…”
“You guys are really infamous to go after such a nice guy like that.”
He had already put away the fact that the root cause was that “he went after us first.”

He continued
“We need to put the fear of God into people like you.”
Crap. That’s why we shouldn’t have accepted his offer.

The police car was heading for XX City, but we were on country roads. It looked closer to mountain roads than country roads. We were on that mountain road for about 15 minutes, when we saw a pond from the window. There was a small clearing next to it and, Chuzai-san parked the police car there and got out.

“Hey, you guys get out too. It’s pretty.”
Sure enough there were flowers blooming around the pond, it was scenic.

Chuzai-san, while looking at the pond,
“It hasn’t been very long since I was appointed here, but I really like this town,”
he said fondly.
“It’s a nice town, even though there are guys like you.”

The last half was unneeded.

Then
“I’m going to go get some cigarettes.”
He said, and headed back towards the car.

SLAM.
The sound of a closing door.

BRUM BRUM.
The sound of an engine starting.

What? Why the engine?

We didn’t have time to question it when the police car started driving off.

Chuzai-san shouted out of the window of the police car.

“You guys. Walk home from there.”
What did he say????

“Well, it’s only about an hour to town? It’s a single road.”

H-he got us.

“Stop joking around. It’s right before exams!”

But Chuzai-san said,
“Come to think of it, do you guys know the song “The Other Day, I Met a Bear“?
“Yeah. We do, but what about it?”
“I heard that he comes out around here. Be careful. Wah ha ha.”

He sped off in his police car after this parting remark.

We were being left behind.

“Wh-what an evil guy!” Saijoh-kun said.
“It’s ok Saijoh.”
“What?”
“Chuzai-san’ll stop soon.”
“How do you know that!?”
“We were using the cooler in the police car right?”
“Yeah. What does that have to do with anything?”

But like I predicted, the police car abruptly stopped approximately 100m (110yards) from where it sped off.

I had actually opened up the zipper of Saijoh-kun’s bag when I got out of the car. That’s right. It was the bag we used in the bookstore that contained the rag with the offensive smell so bad that we couldn’t breath. Even in a four square yard office, it was such a strong odor that we couldn’t even open our eyes, much less breathe. Because it was inside a car, there was no way he could drive. Because the cooler (we didn’t have air conditioning back then) was on, it meant that Chuzai-san would drive off with the windows closed. As predicted, Chuzai-san jumped out of the car that parked 100m away.

“I got suspicious around ‘fear of God.’ I thought he might do something like this.”
“You’re so smart.”

“Like Zhuge Liang Kong Ming!”
Don’t praise me with the name of a guy you don’t even know how to spell. It didn’t feel bad though.

We easily caught up with the police car, looked down at Chuzai-san who was ORZ next to the car, closed the zipper to the bag and sat ourselves in the back seats without permission.

“What do you say we go soon, Mr. Policeman?”

“S-s-shit! You guys. Ugeh!”

Chuzai-san had some other words for us after that, but the police car safely made it back to town.

When we got out of the car, there were some kids making a fuss in the park. It appeared as though a airplane had gotten stuck in a tall tree.
“Need any help?” Saijoh-kun offered, but someone came with a stick with some tape wound on the tip, and after sticking it to the plane, resolved the problem.

“H-he’s so smart.” said Saijoh-kun.

“Like Zhuge Liang Kong Ming!”

What!? That level?
Your Zhuge Liang Kong Ming was only a category?

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