“Bokuchu” Us vs the Police: 700-Day War

Bin

I’m sure you’re aware of this, but let me explain it for people who haven’t gotten it. We acted as if we were shoplifting on purpose, so we would get caught by the shop owner. Surely enough, because he was looking at us with suspicion, the shop owner caught us in our trap. It’s an odd to say, “caught us in our trap”. Of the bags we carried, the “Saijoh version” had old books and “good for nothing” items that covered them. We had also modified the zipper so that you could only take one item out at a time. Therefore, up to now things had gone according to plan. Up to now…

But…

In actuality, there was a slight abnormality from the moment the bag was opened. The owner in front of us must have realized it when he was attacked with the “fly paper,” but there must have been something bigger he was after.

But the “rag” totally confirmed the “abnormality,” even more than we had expected.

“Cough. Wh-wh-what is this smell!? Ugeh!”

Two days earlier…

Fuohn fuohn fuohn (flashback scene sound)

Saijoh-kun called in members of the chemistry club and,
“Hey, out of the chemicals at the school, which one has the most irritating smell?”
“Hmm, probably ammonia or formaline.”
“How about the most putrid smell?”
“There’s different ones, it might be sulfur?”
“Then you guys combine those and make the world’s stinkiest liquid.”
“What are you going to do with it?”
they asked, but since the chemistry club guys were a timid group, they agreed to Saijoh-kun’s “compelling proposition by force.” They were the only ones in the school who had the privileges to unlock the strong chemicals cabinet.

The “evil liquid” was done quicker than expected, in a couple of hours. It came in a small bottle with an “application warning” of “Saijoh, don’t breath within 50cm (15 inches) of this.”
“Even if we’re in the chemistry club, we’re not doctors, so we have no idea what kind of effect this will have on the human body.”
Instead of considering the maker’s worries, Saijoh-kun and I were overjoyed with the “don’t breath while within 50cm of this” part.

On the day of our prank, because it had such a strong odor, we followed the “application warning” and soaked a rag with the “evil liquid” inside the bag. At the time, we only noticed that it irritated our eyes a little.

But.
It was stronger than we ever imagined.

From within a couple of seconds of the rag being pulled out, the offensive smell had changed to an irritating odor and the 4 square yard office had become a smelly world!

“Wh-wh-wh-what is it!? KEKOH!”
Beyond being surprised, the owner was already breathless. It was expected. The irritating odor had already engulfed us and had come close to making even us faint.

“It’s unbearable!”
The owner threw the rag towards us.

“N-noooo, d-don’t give it to us! Ugeh!”

The irritating odor was so strong that we couldn’t keep our eyes open. It was out of this world. It is, without a doubt, the worst smell that I have ever experienced in my life.

“Le-Let’s… open the door!”

Unfortunately this office didn’t have a window that could be opened.

But the owner said,
“No, we can’t! If we do, then the smell, COUGH, will go into the store, UGEH.”
Aah. What a fine example of a businessman. Even if he were to die in this incident, people would praise his actions.

“It, it’s not a time, COUGH COUGH, to be saying that, COUGH… UWEH.”

“Noooooo way! Uhhhhhhhhh.”

He said while almost fainting in agony.
“Th, the ventilation fan…”
“P-put the rag away first! Rag!”
The owner handed us the bag.
“What?? Is it ok, COUGH, to put it away? COUGH”
“I beg you, put it awaaaay, UGAH!”
There were tears in his eyes.

But we also had tears in our eyes. With every breath, a feeling of throwing up attacked us. From our eyes flowed the tears equal to that of watching the ending to “A Dog of Flanders” ten times. Our diaphragm convulsed involuntarily and we couldn’t stop hiccupping.

“Wh-what? Is this? Ow, owww.”
He said with his eyes closed and hand covering his mouth and nose.

“Th-that’s why I told you… WHEEZE… not to open it… UGEH!”
Saijoh-kun and I were also worn out.

This was beyond what we had planned. Our plan was to have the owner get the smell on his hands and to tell him
“That’s why I told you not to open it, didn’t I?”,
smoothly. But we were already unable to speak and were in a panic.

Unable to stay in the office, we jumped out into the store with the owner and closed the door behind us.

“Haa, haa… Wh-what is that?”
The owner asked us out of breath.

“Haa, haa. Th-that’s… haa, haa. Laundry detergent’s… laundry detergent’s…”

We had already practiced a script, but were unable to say it because we could barely breathe. It was also already beyond the smell of laundry detergent.

“That’s why I told you it was life threatening, didn’t I? ZEH, ZEH.”
We were able to say this part clearly, although we didn’t mean it in this way.

<- Review?