“Bokuchu” Us vs the Police: 700-Day War

I was again put in the great position of being the first since the founding of the school to be filling out a report for a lost-and-found porno mag. Um, I’m not sure what’s great about it though.
“Now you don’t have to worry about the school. I know you didn’t want to be in class anyway, so take your time writing!”
What does he mean “don’t have to worry.” He just reported to my school that I “picked up a porno mag.”

When I think about it, this situation was the same as when we were caught speeding with our bikes. Were filling out a forms for lost-and-found items done like interrogations? We were only doing something “good.” Well, not really.

“What about your wife…?”
One of my friends asked revealing his ulterior motive.
“Ah? Kanako? (fictitious name, age 22)”
So her name is Kanako. What a good name… Of course, I think we would have thought so, with whatever name he said as long as it wasn’t something like “Tome” or “Kuma.”

“She’s not home right now.”
“What?”
“Yeah. I said that she wanted to see you guys, I never said she was home.”
“Er…”

Crap. He “pinned” us again. How frustrating.

“Don’t worry about that and just write. First here, name and address.”
“Yeah yeah….”

We were totally sulky by that point and were just following his orders.

“Ok, you got that part. Next is the name of the lost-and-found item.”
As he said that, he threw onto the desk the ** Fan that Saijoh had left him.

Wow. Terrific cover… I wonder if I’ll be able to go to class today?

“What? Do I have to write this, too?”
“Of course.”

Umm. He said of course.

“First, magazine ** Fan March issue…”
“Ok… ** Fan March issue…”

My face was burning with embarrassment as I was writing. Saijoh, you stupid idiot… Please remember this “March issue.” It will cause another problem later.

“Ok ok. Next to it, special issue girls who xxxxx with ropes…”

Huh?
“What!? I have to write the special issue title too?”
“Yeah. You have to describe items as accurately as possible.”

“What!? Is that really true?”

“Those are the rules, it can’t be helped.”
“Fine…”

I couldn’t argue if he said it was the rules.

“Special issue… Girls who xxxx with ropes…”

Where can you find a policeman who makes someone underage write something like this? Well, there was one right here.

“I’m done.”

“Ok. Don’t worry about the rest. You said you picked it up in front of the butchers, right?”
“Ah? Ahhh. I believe so. I’m not sure because it was Saijoh-kun who picked it up…”
“Ahh. The guy whose funeral it was a couple of days ago. He’s resurrected already?”
“Yea, yeah. It looks like the monk gave the wrong diagnosis…”

Crap. We’re getting beat further. I never thought that the counterattack would be this bad, but his counterattack didn’t end there.

“Ok. Then take this absence form and an extra copy of the lost item report.”
“What?”
“I wrote you guys an absence form. You guys will be tardy without it. Here’s a copy of the lost item report.”

I can see the necessity of the first one, but the second?

“Umm… we don’t need a copy of the lost item report.”
“Really? It’s official evidence though. Official.”

I don’t need an official form that has “girls who xxxx with ropes” on it.

“Well, if you say you don’t need it… Thanks for the help.”
“Oh, one more thing, if the owner doesn’t come for it in a year, it becomes yours, but… since you’re underage, is it ok if we hold onto it?”
“I don’t mind. Saijoh-kun was the one who found it though.”
“Ok. Wasn’t Saijoh the one that was dead?”

Crap. So frustrating. In the end, we didn’t even get to see his beautiful wife and had to leave after writing an embarrassing report.

We arrived at school during first period and were called by the counselor during lunch.

There was another rope… I mean, another trap waiting for us there…

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