“Bokuchu” Us vs the Police: 700-Day War

Monthly ArchiveJune 2007

v5 06 Jun 2007 12:05 am

Meteor 1

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“Ch… Chuzai… san? …..why?”

When I looked around, I saw Chuzai-san’s Civic patrol car on top of the bridge. When had he arrived?

“… Girl Bike… I didn’t think you were this stupid.”

We prepared for ourselves.

But…

Batam.
We heard the sound of the door over there, and it seemed to us that the patrol car was moving slowly.

Was there another police officer in it?

But then,
Brum——

All of the sudden, the patrol car started running at an incredible pace.

“Ah?”

“Eh!?”

The person most surprised by this was Chuzai-san.

“Geh! W-waaaaait! Patrol car thief!”

Chuzai-san ran after the patrol car and left us behind. Of course he did. This wasn’t a joke. But even though Chuzai-san was a former track team member, there was no way he could catch up to a car. A patrol car running away, and Chuzai-san chasing after it at full speed. It was of course, the first time I had seen such a thing since being born.

We were bewildered as to what happened.

But,

“You guys! Run! Hurry!”

There were figures of a couple people on the bank.

“Inoue……”

That’s right. It was the figure of Great Inoue-kun and others who had been excluded from being members this time.

“What’s going on, you guys!?”

Great Inoue-kun.
“Yeah. We got worried about the fireworks after all. We were at Saijoh’s till just now. But since the fireworks went up…”

“Wha!? Then, what about that patrol car?”

“Yeah, cause we saw Chuzai when we arrived. That’s Murayama.”

I knew it…
It was because in our group, the only person who could drive a car “albeit illegally” was Murayama kun. That’s right. The reason why Murayama-kun had one more suspension than Saijoh-kun was because of “driving a car without a license.”

“Well… I’m thankful, but doesn’t stealing a patrol car carry a bigger penalty than stealing fireworks?”

“Hrmmm. Since it was an unexpected situation, we couldn’t think of any other method. It’s ok. Murayama won’t get caught. Chiba and the others are helping him out on that end.”

Helping him out with his escape? Things were getting very big.

It was true that it was hard to believe that Murayama-kun would fail at running away. We trusted him to not make mistakes very often. Although it was in the limited scope of being a member of our group.

“Either way, you guys either run or hide! The patrol car is ride-and-ditch. Chuzai’ll come back soon!”

Hearing these words, the other members excluding Jaime hid in the thicket.

“You run, too!”
Great Inoue-kun prodded.

“… No. I’m ok. Chuzai-san said Girl Bike. There’s no way to run.”

“Jaime, how about you?”

“Erm, I’m okay, too. If there’s no one else, everyone will be questioned, right?
For Jaime, it was a rare accurate argument.

“Inoue, what are you going to do?”

“Ahh. We’re going to temporarily return to Saijoh’s and think of counter measures.”

“Are you ok with time?”

“Yeah. We’ve all said that we would be at the fireworks festival. It’s still okay.”

“I… see.”

Inoue-kun and the others finally turned themselves around and started to leave the scene.

“Inoue! And all of you!”
The members turned around.

“Thank you. I’m happy.”

All of them, raising their hands, left one by one.

At that time, Chuzai-san’s patrol car returned from where he had found it.

“Gosh… What you guys do is crazy…”
Chuzai-san appeared especially relieved as he got of of the patrol car.

“Is it just you two?”

“Yeah. It’s just us two.”

“There’s no mistake, right.”

“Yes. There’s no mista…”

But then……

“Buha————-!”
“Y, you stupid bastard——-!”

We suddenly heard shouting from below. It was the other perpetrating members who had hid in the thicket.

“Why did you take a shi* in a place like this!?”

“Wha!? You guys are the ones that told me to do it in this thicket, right?”

“Dork! You couldn’t realize that this was the same thicket before we ran here? Idiot!”

“I didn’t know because it was dark! I was rushed, too!”

“Who is it? Who stepped on it? I’m too scared to smell my shoes!”

“SIIIGGH. What a terrible situation we’re in!”

That’s right. The thicket that they ran into was actually the thicket that Kubo-kun, unable to hold in his “how do you do”, used to go poop……

These guys… are idiots… The hard work of Great Inoue-kun and the others was wasted.

Takaaki-kun.
“H-huh? Mr. Policeman? … You returned……?”

“It appears as though it wasn’t just the two of you. Girl Bike…”

“SIGH… It appears so…”

“Hey. Takaaki. And Kubo, and… All of you come over here too.”

“Yes’sir…”

The other members ended up being caught because of Kubo-kun’s poop. To be caught because of poop, I couldn’t cry about it even if i wanted to.

“Who’s the ringleader?”

“It’s me.” “It’s me.” “It’s me.” “It’s me.”

“It’s ok for you guys to stick up for each other, but. It’s larceny. You guys know that?”

“Yes…” “Yes.” “Yes.” “Yes.”

“Well. It’s great that friendship is so beautiful, but… the principal offender is Girl Bike, right?”

“Yes… These guys were just acting under my orders.”

“Put your hands out.”

“Wha?”

“Put your hands out in front of you.”

“At 8:22PM, I place you under arrest for the charges of larceny, violation of the gunpowder law, violation of the fire safety laws.”

I had handcuffs placed on me for the first time in my life that day. It was lighter, but colder than I thought it would be.

(In actuality, he said about six charges, but naturally I don’t remember them. The ones I wrote here are approximate.)

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